


Avengers Go Shopping

by Mogwai13



Series: Avengers Go Shopping [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 14:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mogwai13/pseuds/Mogwai13
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Literally just funny scenes from the domestic lives of the Avengers. Doing things that people have DEFINITELY been tempted to do....lookin at you, spy twins.





	Avengers Go Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, little things like this keep popping in my mind. If I feel like it, might take some suggestions for things.

Clint is on top of the freezer section, grilling hotdogs and sipping ice cold beer from the cooler. Using a fishing pole to grab things he needs.  
  
Natasha is lounging on a pool floatie in shorts, tank top, flip flops, a floppy hat, and bright red lipstick. Sipping beer. Telling Barton what to get.  
  
Bruce in the tea and fruit sections, confused with why people keep asking HIM what they're supposed to be looking for, as he was living in different cultures and never quite got the hang of this one (scientist, _hello_ ). Looking over his shoulder all the time,  _and_ watching the prices. Sent to deal with Thor.  
  
Thor at the deli asking for a whole cow. After being denied that, a whole pig. Ends up lighting a fire and spit-roasting 3 hams in the meat department. Bruce sent to deal with him, ends up just sitting down and meditating to keep from panicking and Hulking out.  
  
Tony WTF-ing all over the place because, "I  _pay_ people to do this  _for_ me, Rogers. NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT BRAND PAPER TOWELS, JUST GET PAPER TOWELS!!!.....a lot...."  
  
Steve actually trying to shop and getting overwhelmed by prices because, "Why the HELL is milk FOUR DOLLARS?! What, is the cow from ASGARD?!" Keeps asking Bruce what to get because Tony is NO help, Thor is...busy, and he can't find the spy triplets.  
  
Coulson is in the doughnut section, trying to choose.  
  
Four hours, two _minor_ explosions, 7 "Clean-up on aisle....", 9 overflowing carts of food, 3 overflowing carts of paper products and cleaning supplies, and 2 _straining_ carts of Clint and Natasha's cook-in supplies later, they are all waiting to be checked out. Steve is in the front, directing flow, Bruce and Clint putting things on the conveyor belt, Natasha still on a pool floatie in the front part of a cart, Phil helping bag (reusable, of _course_ , "We're not _barBARIANS_ , ROGERS!" "Thanks, Tony. Coulda just said no paper bags."), Thor extolling the virtues of fine spit-roasting to a teenaged cashier, and Tony in the back on his phone, playing Angry Birds while pretending he doesn't know the freaks over there. Total is called out and suddenly, all eyes on Tony who rolls his, pulls out a card, and tosses it carelessly at Steve, who fumbles on what to  _do_ with it, because, "Wha-this isn't money? Right? They didn't change  _money_ THAT much, did they?" While Bruce nods sympathetically and Clint looks at him, unimpressed, from behind his sunglasses.  
  
They take a mini-van, Lola, and 4 sports cars to get there and _somehow_ have to Tetris everything in those to get home. Thor rides on the roof of the mini-van, holding the grill and free-standing porch swing. Clint drives the mini-van one-handed while downing the rest of his beer. All seats are filled. In all vehicles. Plus trunks.  
  
When they leave, the store closes for the rest of the day, just to put things to rights. And then a week to fix the floors.  
  
That trip only lasts the Avengers a week before they have to do another shopping trip.


End file.
